Creative Discipline - A Lesson In Humility

A few weeks ago Zora entered a new "phase" - an argumentative one. It doesn't matter what I say, she has to argue with it. It can be about what outfit to wear, what we're going to eat, which subject in school to work on next, and the list goes on. To be honest I'm getting really weary of her behavior and this morning I had HAD IT.

When my kids were little a swat on their rear end usually solved the problem. However, as they've gotten older I've realized that it doesn't really phase them any more. So then we moved on to "grounding". That still works for Lily - just take away something special to her for a few days and she's "back in shape". It used to work for Zora, but lately even that hasn't been working, so I've been trying to be creative in my discipline so that she really learns a lesson from her discipline.

This morning I had an idea...

she learned her lesson...

but so did I.

When I woke her up this morning I didn't want to have a battle over clothes, so I told her she could pick out her own clothes. She stood there for a long time and couldn't decide what she wanted to wear, so she asked me for some help. I suggested two different outfits and she started her arguing...

She didn't like those choices.

She was thinking of something else.

That's not what she would have chosen.

So, here's where my creative discipline came in. I needed to figure out a way to make her understand how disrespectful she has been to me and I need it to teach her to change her behavior. So, I told her that since she no longer valued my opinion, and since she was now better at making decisions than me, then I would totally leave her alone today and she could do everything herself. I'm sure that at first this sounded great to her, but she quickly realized that it wasn't going to be so great. She picked out her own clothes then asked me what she could have for breakfast. I told her whatever she could fix on her own. She said, "But I don't know how to fix what I want." So I told her she'd have to figure something else out. I also told her that when she finished her breakfast, then she would be responsible for wiping down the table and sweeping up the crumbs around the table all by herself. She was now responsible for all her own actions. Mommy is out of the picture today.

She very solemnly ate her breakfast and cleaned up after herself. Then I told her it was time for her school work. She did as much of her work as she could do by herself. When she got to the subjects that she needed help on she tried to do them by herself in vain. When she asked me to help her I reminded her that she was on her own for the day. She said, "But then I'll be behind in my work." I told her we'll just have to catch up later. Again, not a happy face from her.

It's now time for lunch so I fixed something for Lily and myself. She said that she would like some potato soup like us. I told her to fix it herself. She said, "But I can't. I can't reach the bowls or the microwave, or anything!" So I gave her two choices.

1. You can figure out a way to resolve the situation and I will help you.
OR
2. You can figure out a way to fix something for yourself on your own.

She chose to try to fix it herself - STUBBORN!!! She climbed onto the counter top and got herself a bowl. She got a spoon and dipped the soup into the bowl and got it into the microwave. Then she asked me how long she should heat the food. I told her she'd just have to figure it out on her own. "But I don't know how, Mommy!" I reminded her that she had another choice - she could resolve the situation and I would help her.

She FINALLY apologized! "I'm sorry, Mommy. I know I can't do everything by myself. Will you please help me?"

So, I heated the soup for her in the microwave. Right before the soup was finished heating she got sassy and disrespectful AGAIN. So, I told her she obviously didn't learn her lesson and she could go right on helping herself. I told her to make sure she didn't burn herself, so she got some potholders to get her soup out. As she was pulling the bowl out of the microwave she dropped the bowl. It was an unbreakable bowl, but the soup went everywhere! There was soup all over my stove top and it was also all over the floor. She said, "Now what am I going to do?" I told her she'd have to clean the mess up herself. So for the next 40 minutes she tried to clean the mess up herself. The more she tried to clean the bigger of a mess she created. Periodically I reminded her of her second choice, but she stubbornly kept trying to do it herself.

Eventually, she broke down and started bawling as she sat in the middle of her mess. She finally humbled herself - after 3 hours from the initial conflict - to break down and say, "Mommy, I'm sorry, please forgive me. I'm sorry for being rude and disrespectful. I know that I can't do everything myself. Will you please help me?"

These were the words I was waiting to hear. She crawled up in my lap and both of us had tears streaming down our faces.

She had learned her lesson...

but so had I.

What lesson did I learn? As I held her and we both cried I thought of our Heavenly Father who must feel the same way often times. As human beings we are SO STUBBORN and try to do everything ourselves. We think we don't need Him to help us and when we start struggling we continue to wallow in our own pride instead of trying to resolve the situation with Him. Then, we create a HUGE mess in our lives until we're sitting in the middle of the mess crying. Then we finally break down, humble ourselves, swallow our rotten pride, and run to Him, crying and begging for mercy, forgiveness, and a helping hand. And, because He loves us, He lets us crawl into His lap and He does what He wanted to do all along - just help us. All He wants is for us to ask Him for His help and acknowledge that we need Him in every detail of our lives.

"...All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, 'God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.' Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
1 Peter 5:5-7

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

"...if my people who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin..." 2 Chronicles 7:14

Compassion International

The other night Joel and I volunteered at the Rock and Worship Roadshow for Compassion International. It was absolutely incredible!!! We have been Compassion sponsors for about 8 years now and there is no better feeling than helping those who cannot help themselves. When we started sponsoring our little boy he was about 3 years old and it has been incredible to watch him grow up in the Lord with the proper care, nutrition, and education that he needs to break the cycle that his family has been in for so many years. If you have never heard of Compassion and the incredible work that they do around the world, please visit their website. If you have heard of Compassion and you've thought of sponsoring a child and never have, please reconsider. The cost is only $38/month which is minimal when you think of all it can do for a child. You can also correspond with your child on a very regular basis, and you get updates on the child's situation frequently. And, if you are willing and have the financial means, you can even visit your child!

There is also a new program with Compassion which is less cost per month. The Child Survival Program helps children from the time they are conceived because it helps pregnant mothers receive the proper medical attention they need to safely carry and deliver their babies. It also trains the mothers in how to properly care for their children and gives their babies medical attention when they are born. This new program has saved the lives of so many babies who never would have had a chance. The video that they showed at the concert the other night was incredible, but I couldn't locate it anywhere on the internet. Here is another video I found that is great, but kind of long. If you are interested in joining the Child Survival Program the cost is $20/month.

If you cannot commit to these programs because of the cost per month, you can also make a one time donation to Compassion and they will use it where the money is needed most immediately. Please consider helping the helpless whether it be through sponsoring a child or participating in the Child Survival Program. I promise you will receive a blessing in return!!!

Princess Party!!!

Saturday night Joel and I got to attend an incredible concert call the Rock and Worship Roadshow. We got to hear the amazing talent of The Sidewalk Prophets, Remedy Drive, Francesca Battistelli, Fee, Family Force Five, The David Crowder Band, and Mercy Me. It was truly unbelievable! I wish I would have gotten some pictures because we had great seats, but I left my camera at home so that our awesome babysitter, Cari, could take some pictures of the Princess Party she had with girls!

They started their evening by making princess shirts and crowns.

Making Crowns

Making Princess Shirts

Following that fun they made their own pizzas for dinner. Then for dessert they made some pink princess sugar cookies with pink icicng and purple sprinkles on top!

Finally they made a fort in the living room and watched movies until it was time to go to bed.

Thanks for babysitting, Cari!!! You're the BEST :-)

Reasons to Smile :-)

I am blessed beyond measure and here are two of my blessings...

Blessing #1 - Zora

Zora lost another tooth so she has now lost 6 teeth! Only two have grown back in fully, so she has quite a gap in the front of her mouth. She also got new glasses! Her previous glasses were not really helping any more because her prescription has changed and the frames no longer fit her face well. She picked the new frames out all by herself and I just happen to think she looks adorable!!! (And a little older which makes me kinda sad)

Blessing #2 - Lily

This little blessing happens to crack me up on a daily basis. She is such a unique little girl with so many hilarious quirks. Lately she's been attached to her backpack. Every time we go somewhere she has to pack her bag and she puts the oddest things in it. She also likes to tie the straps around her belly so she can look like a hiker. :-)

I must say that the past couple of weeks these little girls have been trying my patience in every sense of the word... arguing with each other... arguing with me when I tell them to do something... complaining every time they don't get their way... and the list goes on.

However, it's all worth it when I remember how truly precious they are and I see their sweet little smiles. Thank you, Lord, for my healthy, loving, beautiful, precious little babies!

Every good and perfect gift is from above...
James 1:17

Easter

WARNING: This is a very long post with lots of pics!!!!

We started off our Easter weekend with our playgroup friends. We had fabulous plans for an outdoor egg hunt, but instead we had to have it indoors because there was a huge thunderstorm!!! The kids had fun anyhow :-)

Playgroup

Zora finding eggs

Addie & Lily are happy hunters!

On Saturday we were delighted to go to my step-sister's house for a delicious Easter dinner. While we were there we got to hold my new nephew for the first time! He is so incredibly precious. This is the nephew that I requested prayer for earlier. He is now home and doing well, but he has to wear a monitor at all times to check his heart rate and breathing. He is a whopping 7 lbs at 1 month!

Happy little Kohen

Zora holding Kohen...look at the feet on that boy!

Precious little pose

Kohen wide awake

Not only did we celebrate Easter and Kohen's homecoming, but we were also able to see my step-brother, Josh. He has been living in Mexico on a mission base for almost a year now and we rarely get to see him. He also went to Haiti for three months to minister to the people there. We were glad to welcome him home, too!

Lily & Uncle Josh

No explanation for this pic... just a sweet smile that I love!

The little ones enjoyed a brief egg hunt, and after the hunt was over we found Zora and Skylar sneaking some of their treats!

Here is a picture of our "Brady Bunch" as we lovingly call ourselves. The only person who is missing is my brother, Jamie, who had to work that day :-(

We also took some pics of our family. I love this one... I wish it hadn't turned out blurry!

On Sunday we celebrated our Savior's resurrection with a fabulous church service!

Afterward it was such a gorgeous day that we went to the park for some pictures. Nana and Papa Doug met us there to help out. It was so sunny that day that many of our pictures resulted in squinted eyes!
Lily even had a melt-down over it! So, to humor ourselves we took some fun pics in our sunglasses! We took over a hundred pictures, but I'm just posting a few....

...okay... maybe a little more than a few!

Pictures of Zora

Pictures of Lily

Zora & Lily together

This one absolutely cracks me up! We had been there for quite some time and the girls were getting rather tired. I sat them on this tree stump and they were both slumped over with half-smiles on their faces. It said, " Sit up straight for Mommy and SMILE!" and this is what I got... Zora not at all happy... and Lily sticking her chest out as if she has something to share!!!

Family Pictures

...and finally...

THE END!!!

Homeschool Activities

We have been having a lot of fun with our two different homeschool groups. One of the moms from our group taught the kids how to weave. The girls learned how to weave on a loom and they both made bookmarks. They both did a fantastic job and their final pieces are beautiful! I didn't have to really help either one of them much - not even Lily! They loved weaving so much that we bought them a loom so that they could make more projects...

Lily weaving

Lily's project up close

Zora weaving

Zora's project up close

The girls also learned some cartooning techniques from one of the dads in our homeschool group. He gave the kids some great tips on drawing cartoon animals. He taught them how to draw a dog, cat, penguin, snake, bat & horse. The girls both did great!

Zora hard at work

Zora's penguin

Lily hard at work

Lily's cat

This past week we took a trip to the zoo with our group, but this zoo trip was different than usual. We had a great tour guide, Tiffany, who gave the kids a short lesson on the rainforest. She then gave us a behind-the-scenes tour of the rainforest building and taught us so much about the plants and animals that live there. At the end of our tour she allowed all the children to pet a python!

Notice Lily's eyes in this picture! Do you think they could get any bigger? Zora, on the other hand, absolutely loved petting the snake. She was front and center when it was time!

And, speaking of snakes... I had to kill one in my brother-in-law's yard this weekend! All of the kids were playing outside and Zora came running up yelling SNAKE!!! She is quite the drama queen, so I didn't take her seriously at first, but then when I went to look, she was right! It was a baby (thankfully!) and we weren't for sure what kind it was, so we decided to get rid of it because it was trying to strike at the kids. The men had left to go to the store, so it was just my sister-in-law with me and the kids. She is TERRIFIED of snakes, so I got the honors. I'll have to add that to my list of skills... ha!